The Namesake

He is wandering in the library that he fell in love with, the first time he saw it. The choices are staggering, too good to be true. Almost anything he has wanted to get his hands on is in here. One of the ways he likes to read is to pick a book at random. If it is meant to be read by him, it will be find its way to him. Just like a lot of other things in life have come his way. He is happy to put in his effort & let things take its own course. Fate? destiny? maybe! He spots a row of books with the same jacket. Simple, yet attractive. Just like his taste in women. He knows it is from a prize winning author & has heard a lot of people rave about it. Soon, he & the book leave the library in each other's company. He can't wait to start reading. He is immersed in it. The words leaping at him, conjuring images. Images he likes. Images he thinks he can identify with. It leaves no details out & he relishes on all the details, sometimes pausing in between to let the words he has read, sink in & conjure up an image. It is like watching his own private movie. He reaches for the book every bit of free time he gets, in between his busy days. On the bus, the train, sometimes even while walking around. Soon he becomes entagled with the characters, the line between fiction & life starts getting blurred. He can identify with the life the protagonist goes through. Without realising he is drawn into the characters. He understands the pain that comes with the loss of a parent. The joy of living life on his own terms.The relationships he goes through. Soon he is married to a girl with a past. A past which would have affected others, but they are head over heels in love to let anything else spoil it. The wedding reminds him of possibilities. The life that could have been. Not without regret, but with a little detachment. He is now watching 2 movies. One is the book in his hand & one is his past playing out to what he would have liked it to be. They start mingling with each other. The passion slowly gives way to small niggles, but nothing that cannot be sorted out by sitting down & talking. The parallels continue. Soon, he learns that she has been seeing another man. He cannot see the justification. A knife goes through his heart. The pain is now unbearable. He has just started beleiving in relationships again & he feels that faith slowly slipping away. He knows the feeling is not meant to be permanent, but he can't push the pain away as much as he tries. Walking through crowded streets still leaves him with an empty feeling. He skims through the remaining of the book, disbelieving that a marriage can be as fragile as an affair, a misplaced sense of belonging. He knows he is not doing justice to the book, but he can't bring himself to finish it. Life is not meant to be this way. Where is the happy endings he was promised? The happy endings he has always believed, are what good people deserve. The reward for making honest efforts. Now it all seems so absurd. Was he being blind when he choose this life? Were his choices flawed? He desperately seeks re-assurance that life does not have to be this way. Thankful for the next 2 hours spent in a dark hall, watching a movie he loves, in company he likes. He knows he will step out of that hall, with a renewed sense of faith & is already planning how it should be celebrated.